Saturday, December 30, 2006

How To: Create Hoax Protest E-Mails

*This post is not too serious!*

The spreading of political techniques is essential to winning elections, so today I shall show one how to create a hoax e-mail which is supposed to show "artificial" dissent within an opposing political party. After all, this technique seems to in vogue lately. Sure, it may not be as interesting as Pierre Berton showing one how to roll a joint, but politics involves hard work.

Step 1: Pick A Target

First of all, you have to pick a party and its leader. Since that there are only 4 parties in Canada worth hoaxing, your job here is simplified.

So for my example, I'm going to choose Gilles Duceppe and the Bloc Québécois.

Step 2: Find some random party members names

Now, you are going to have to find real names of real members from your target party. Riding presidents work well for this purpose - their names are easy to find on the internet. Go the the Political Parties' Electoral District Associations Database at the Elections Canada Website, input the target party, choose a random riding, and volia: a name or so you can use.

You can use past candidates and donors names too, you can get it all from Elections Canada!

Step 3: Write the message of dissent

Now that you have the names, you simply write your message. Be sure to make it seem semi-realistic! (these are probably not because I don't really encounter the Bloc here in BC)


"Duceppe is an old, tired leader that needs to be replaced for the good of the party."

[Insert Riding President's Name Here], President of [Insert Riding]

"We need a new leader. Duceppe should have won more than 50% of the popular vote in Quebec last election, but instead his smug campaign turn off
Québécois and allowed the Conservatives, who received less than 10% of the popular vote before, to get seats in Quebec!"

[Insert Past Candidate's Name Here],
Past Candidate for the Bloc in [Insert Riding]

"The fact is, Duceppe is getting nowhere in the fight for a independent Quebec. I mean, we don't need a resolution to know that we are a nation inside of Canada, but keeping Duceppe on as leader will ensure that we won't be a nation outside of Canada."

[Insert Donors's Name Here],
Bloc Québécois Member in [Insert Riding]


The Bloc
Québécois Members For Change

Step 4: Send it to people

Now that you have a hoax letter, send it all over. It's best to have some insider connections in the target party so that you can sent in on their e-mail lists. And soon enough, the word will spread far and wide. Why heck, some people may actually fall for it!

See, that was easy.

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